Walking Toward Uncertainty |
They are distant and
cloaked in mystery, clouded by our human tendency to fix and predict. We
often get so obsessed with the outcomes; we totally miss what’s happening in
the present moment.
We are straining to see
that which is unseeable, tripping over the shiny blessings at our feet.
Example? Sure, I’ve got
one: Let’s say a woman is languishing over an unresolved family relationship,
anxious to see it healed. While desperate to mend, she is missing out on the
loved ones who do surround and support and love her without measure.
That woman is me.
Over and over, by default and by heartbreak, I reach across the abyss and freefall into the same hazy shadows of Not Quite Yet.
The simple truth is, we
don’t know the outcome until we finally arrive at its doorstep. Until then, the
best you and I can do is to keep moving forward. To make the best decisions we
can and let go of the result.
To live with a problem,
it might be a good idea to sit with the problem and make peace with the
uncertainty. In the brisk cool breeze of letting go, you are infused
with a kind of hope – an expectation with no expiration date.
You get up and you hope.
You do it again the next
day. You hope and you dance and you laugh.
You embrace those who
already surround you.
The problem is still
there – the ambiguity of it all, the wondering. The waiting.
Take heart. There are,
beneath the surface, unseen weavings and healing threads reaching for raggedy
seams. Let that process happen without your assistance, your persistence, your gnawing
hunger for an answer.
Let the answer tiptoe in.
One day when you’re not looking.
By letting go of
outcomes, we stay present with Joy and Wonder.
Your dilemma may not be
estrangement. There are so many pesky unknowns, and they are as unique and
valid as the person experiencing them.
Maybe a dream came
unraveled and you had to loosen your grip.
Or maybe you’ve had to
relinquish your dream so somebody else can live theirs. Try not to control the
outcome; instead, show up as the best coach on the sidelines. That’s living
with the Unknowns: moving onward with purpose and joy.
I invite you to look
around for glimpses of goodness in the struggle. You might not find closure,
but you will discover tenacity. Your steadfast grit will come alongside others
who are walking toward their own unknowns.
Above all, tend to your
heart. Keep it safe and pliable and available. Guard against grudges; they are
crippling.
We won’t always walk
toward the happy ending we imagined. It’s risky, yes – but leaning into the possibilities,
staying grounded while opening our arms – that’s making peace with what’s unsolved,
unsettled, unknowable.
The aches and anguish of
life are in lockstep with the boons and blessings.
I leave you with a
favorite quote from author, Mary Cholmondeley.
This essay also appears in Silver Magazine, a monthly insert in the Jamestown Post Journal and Warren Times Observer.