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It's been a rough week, a roller coaster ride of emotions. I'd had a promising meeting packed with dare-to-dream possibilities. I rode high on the crest of that wave for an entire day.
On Day #2 my hopes were challenged but not dashed.
By Day #3 my natural optimism began to waver.
Day #4: I am a lump of misery, belly crawling across a cold indifferent floor.
Hugely disappointed. Feeling pushed to the margins, overlooked; undervalued.
Fragile.
Fragmented.
Furious.
A wise friend came alongside and re-framed my sad story: "Love people, trust God."
What?
Love people? When they promise BIG and deliver SMALL? Love people, when they say they will call back, and I tether my phone to myself day and night for nothing but echoes of silence?
Love people?!
When common courtesies and professional behaviors are profoundly missing? Seriously?
Love people.
Trust God.
Exactly.
Because, she explained, people are not trustworthy -- that's why they desperately need to be loved. God is the One Person you can always trust, and trusting in Him enables you to love people.
When you choose to love others, you learn that you, too, have dropped the ball. You have missed the mark, forgotten a promise, overlooked an appointment. And you hope against hope you will be forgiven.
Human beings simply cannot maintain a trustworthy track record; we are goofy, ravaged shadows of our best selves.
Which is why we need God, who is our Constant.
"He's got this!" she affirmed.
I'd love to report here that Love showed up and I rose triumphantly from my puddle of gloom.
It hasn't been that tidy. After fits and starts, tears and residual anger, a slow infusion of truth began to pulse through my veins: Placing my trust in The Sovereign re-calibrates my story and deepens my capacity to love.
This is Day #5.
This is my day and it could take me anywhere.
The possibilities are tugging at my sleeves, pulling me back into the sunshine.
I will risk.
I will show up.
I will believe.
Speed bumps will slow me down, with odd and unseen bends in the road.
Sometimes it's not a path through enlightenment; it's a numb slog through the muck and mire.
I may have to learn it again and again: Trust God, Love People. Embrace their shortcomings in much the same way God embraces mine.
Watch and learn.
Choose not to send negative ripples into a world already quivering with acrimony.
Lather.
Rinse.
Repeat.
Whenever necessary, call my dear friend who gently nudges me back into the Light.
This blog supports www.booksforbondinghearts.com/shop, timely gifts for Autumn and Christmas.
Although I didn't sign up for it, I have become well acquainted with the grief journey; you can read more of my journey toward joy in the books, "Breath of Joy! Simply Summer" and "Breath of Joy! Ah, Autumn".
